It's An Honor Just to be Nominated

Please forgive the extremely crude Photoshopping

Forget the Oscars. Who cares about the Golden Globes? For Hollywood's elite, there's only one true measure of greatness: Brian's Crimson Ticket Stub of Prestige, also known to industry insiders as the Stubbie.

And the Stubbie Goes to...

Best Comedy
The nominees:

• Juno
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
• Tropic Thunder
• Ghost Town
• Role Models
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Juno. It was a very close race between Juno and Sarah Marshall, but Juno's pathos, wit and lack of Jonah Hill made it very appealing.


Best Action-Adventure
The nominees:

• Indiana Jones IV
  
• The Dark Knight
  
• Iron Man
  
• Eagle Eye
• Wanted
• Quantum of Solace.
  

And the Stubbie goes to... The Dark Knight. Honestly, there was no way I could not give the Stubbie to this masterpiece. Quantum of Solace and Wanted tie for runners up.


Best Drama
The nominees:

• Smart People
• Atonement
  
• Fireproof
  
• Australia
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Atonement! Even though the ending made me furious, I can't deny this is a great movie.


Best Musical
The nominees:

• Walk Hard
  
• Mamma Mia
  
• An American Carol

And the Stubbie goes to... bleh. They aren't worthy. We here at the Stubbies have standards.



Best Sequel
The nominees:

• Rambo
• Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
• Indiana Jones IV
• The Dark Knight
• Madagascar 2
• Quantum of Solace
• RocknRolla

And the Stubbie goes to... Indiana Jones IV! I know, I know. How can I possibly rank Indy and the Incredible Flying Fridge over The Dark Knight? Sure, TDK was a much better movie (and didn't have any prairie dogs) but Indy IV had a certain charm and despite popular opinion, I think it contiued the spirit of Dr. Jones as well as possibly could be expected.



Longest Movie
The nominees:

• Australia
• The Dark Knight
• Appaloosa
• Speed Racer
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Australia! It clocked in at a whopping 165 minutes.



Best Animated Feature
The nominees:

• Bee Movie
• Horton Hears a Who!
  
• Kung Fu Panda
• Bolt
  
• Speed Racer
• Madagascar 2
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Kung Fu Panda! Despite disliking it the first go 'round, its stock rose significantly when I was forced to see a second time in a group.



Best Movie That Is Pretty Good But I Don't Need To See It Again
The nominees:

• Australia
• Attonement
• Burn After Reading
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Australia! I'm sorry, Baz, but life is too short.


Best Movie that Should Have Sucked But Didn't
The nominees:

• Fireproof
  
• Marley and Me
• Get Smart
• Ghost Town
  
• Role Models
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Fireproof! Way to go, Kirk Cameron! It was a virtual dead heat for FP, Ghost Town and Role Models, but my expectations for FP were just so darn low, it's hard not to declare it the winner.


Movie I Should Have Walked Out of But Didn't
The nominees:

• Bee Movie
  
• Step Brothers
  
• Speed Racer
• Mamma Mia!
• Max Payne
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Mamma Mia! My blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.


Best Movie That is Stupid But I Still Kinda Like It
The nominees:

• Marley & Me
• Eagle Eye
  
• The House Bunny
  

And the Stubbie goes to... The House Bunny! There's no denying that Anna Faris has talent.

Most Disappointing
The nominees:

• Walk Hard
  
• Speed Racer
• Step Brothers
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Step Brothers! I was embarrassed to be seen in the theater.


Best Surprise Ending
The nominees:

• Role Models
  
• Atonement
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Role Models! Yeah, Sarah Marshall's puppet rock opera was all sorts of awesome, but the epic and surprisingly warm ending to Role Models gives it the advantage.


Worst Surprise Ending
The nominees:

• Atonement
  
• Role Models
  
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Atonement! I almost let an expletive slip when the big twist hit.


What Were They Thinking?
The nominees:

• Hancock
  
• Max Payne
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Max Payne! I like Mark Wahlberg, but I have limits. He crossed them.


Most Overrated
The nominees:

• Atonement
• Bee Movie
  
• Walk Hard
• Appaloosa
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Bee Movie! Why Jerry? Why? What did I ever do to you?


Best Special Effects
The nominees:

• Speed Racer
• Indy IV
• Wanted
• Dark Knight
• The Day the Earth Stood Still
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Wanted! Me likey curvy bullets



Best Costume Design (suggested by Kelly)
The nominees:

• Atonement
  
• Semi-Pro
• Australia
• Appaloosa
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Semi-Pro! You gotta love Will Ferrell in those short shorts.



Most Misguided Will Ferrel Vehicle
The nominees:

• Semi-Pro
  
• Step Brothers
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Step Brothers! Will and John C. Reilly should both be ashamed.


Best Movie to Knit To (ie: you don't have to pay that much attention to it) (suggested by Kelly)
The nominees are:

• Horton Hears a Who!
  
• Kung Fu Panda
• Tropic Thunder
• Madagascar 2

And the Stubbie goes to... Tropic Thunder! It's a movie full of great one-liners. You can tune in and out at will and I promise you'll land on a laugh.



Best Actor/Actress
The nominees are:

• Ellen Page, Juno
• Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
• Ed Harris, Appaloosa
• Nicole Kidman, Australia

And the Stubbie goes to... the late Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight! Ms. Page did a phenomenal job as Juno, but Mr. Ledger too it to a whole 'nother level.


Best Soundtrack
The nominees are:

• Mamma Mia
• Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
• How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
  

And the Stubbie goes to... How to Lose Friends! I know I'm supposed to pick Nick and Norah, but that's just how I roll.



Best Remake
The nominees are:

• The Day the Earth Stood Still
• Journey to the Center of Earth
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Journey to the Center of the Earth. Say what you will, I like Brenden Frasier.


Outstanding Achievement in a Cameo Appearence
The nominees are:

• Justin Long, Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Jason Schwartzman, Walk Hard
• Tom Cruise, Tropic Thunder
• Thandie Newton, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
• Neil Patrick Harris, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

And the Stubbie goes to.... Justin Long, Paul Rudd, Jack Black and Jason Schartzman! This was probaly the toughest decision yet, but their turn as the fab four was by far the best part of Walk Hard.


Best Use of Seth Rogan
The nominees are:

• Pineapple Express
  
• Kung Fu Panda
  
• Horton Hears a Who!
• Step Brothers
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Pineapple Express! I didn't especially love the movie, but he was perfectly cast.


Worst Use of Seth Rogan
The nominees are:

• Pineapple Express
  
• Kung Fu Panda
  
• Horton Hears a Who!
• Step Brothers
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Horton Hears a Who! I don't get it. Why.



Best Use of Jonah Hill
The nominees:

• Walk Hard
  
• Horton Hears a Who
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Forgetting Sarah Marshall! Who knew he could be funny?


Worst Use of Jonah Hill
The nominees:

• Walk Hard
• Horton Hears a Who
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Walk Hard! Ugh.


Outstanding Achievement in the Casting of Paul Rudd
The nominees:

• Walk Hard
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
• Role Models
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Role Models! Way to go, buddy!



Best Performance by a Rapper turned Actor
The nominees:

• Ludacris, Max Payne
• Ludacris, RocknRolla

And the Stubbie goes to... Ludacris, RocknRolla! Seriously, he's a decent actor.



Best Movie Based on a Book
The nominees are:

• Atonement
• Marley & Me
• Horton Hears a Who!
• An American Carol
• How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
• Journey to the Center of the Earth
  

And the Stubbie goes to... Atonement! Even though it's not my cup of tea, I must say it's a great translation of a great book.


Best Movie Based on True Story
The nominees are:

• The Express
• Marley & Me
• How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
  
• Expelled

And the Stubbie goes to... Marley & Me. Yeah. That's how much The Express annoyed me. I picked the dog movie.

2008 By the Numbers

Movies Seen: 53 (45 + 8 repeats)
Average Score: 3.2/5
Different Venues: Nine, spread over three states
Buckets of popcorn: Two (I just don't buy popcorn at the movies)
Movies seen at the Drive-in: Two (Get Smart, Kung Fu Panda)
Money spent (approximate): $375
Time spent in theaters (not including trailers and credits): 95 hours and 11 minutes (or 49 minutes shy of four days, 1.1 percent of 2008).
Number of words used to review movies: 26,474
Celebrities met/interviewed/photographed: One (Ben Stein in Expelled)
Most movies seen in one day: Four (An American Carol, Momma Mia, Eagle Eye, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People)
12:01 a.m. premiers seen: Three (Iron Man, Indiana Jones IV, Quantum of Solace).